Just Like That, You Were Gone
by Anime Girl23
Summary: Kurt meant to make an "It Gets Better" video. Things didn't go as planned. Too late, he wonders why he never told Puck. Puck/Kurt slash


Hello again! So I've had this one on my laptop for a while now, but for some reason, it never got posted. When I started it, I had intended for Kurt to be making an "It Gets Better" video, but then he apparently decided that he didn't want to and filled it with angst. As always, please look at the warning and please review!

**Warning:** Contains suicide themes.

Disclaimer: I own _nothing_.

Just Like That, You Were Gone  
One-Shot

Kurt was fidgeting as he sat in front of the camera, teeth gnawing at his lip until he found the strength to press the record button.

The red light flashed on and he froze, everything he'd rehearsed suddenly gone. His fingers itched to just turn off the camera, grab his keys, and go back to where he was needed, but he didn't move.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he could hear his mother's voice, softly urging him on.

_"Just speak from your heart, baby. For him."_

He closed his eyes for a long moment, breathing deep before he reopened them, determined.

For him.

"Hi," his voice sounded hoarse. Scared. "I'm Kurt Hummel and..."

_"You're doing fine. Keep going."_

"Being gay in a small town is hard. Most people aren't open to something they don't understand and teens...some can say they're the worst. Bullying..."

_"I love you."_

It wasn't his mom's voice this time. It was Noah's, scared and soft as he said it for the first time. Kurt remembered the shock that rippled through him when he heard it, remembered the way Noah tried to withdraw his hand when no response came.

He remembered feeling the tears on his face and beneath his hands as he took Noah's face and pulled him in for a kiss that had left them both dizzy.

"I was bullied for years because I came out and when I got a boyfriend, it got easier. I'd thought people had been accepting us, but...they hadn't. All that had happened was that they put their focus on him instead of me. And he let them. He thought he was protecting me, but _seeing_ the bruises on him hurt even worse than feeling them ever could."

Tears blurred his vision, dripping off his lashes when he blinked.

"I focused so hard on the bruises that I missed what was happening to him inside. The bullying and the jeers...he wasn't perfect and he'd made his mistakes, but I loved him anyway." He swallowed thickly, wiping at a cheek. "I still love him. Even after..."

_"Noah!"_

His voice. An echo of terror that he couldn't forget.

"My boyfriend...he tried to kill himself. He shut himself in the garage and turned on the car. I was the one that found him."

_"There's been some damage."_

The doctor. His world shattering.

"He lived, but...things are never going to be the same. People say that things get better, but...how long is that supposed to take? Why didn't anyone tell Noah that?" His voice lowered to a whisper. "Why didn't I?"

_"But he's going to be okay, right?"_

His voice. Begging, pleading.

"I wish I could say I knew when it would get better, but I don't. I'm still in high school and around the same people that pushed Noah to..."

_"Noah, wake up. Please..."_

"It's not easy. Things suck and people suck, but...you need to think. Think before taking drastic measures. Think of the people you'd leave behind, the people that love you. Let them help you. Talk to them, because you can't do it on your own."

_"Please..."_

Kurt switched the recording off, doubling over for a second as he let out two heart wrenching sobs before he straightened up and popped the DVD out. He stared at his reflection in it, taking in the wet cheeks and red-rimmed eyes, and after a minute, popped it into its case and into his desk drawer.

He didn't submit the video.

He didn't think he ever planned to.

All he had wanted was to see if it helped, but...he didn't even know if it had.

If anything, save for one thing, ever would.

He made the drive to the hospital in silence, radio off and wipers squeaking against the windshield as the rain came down in buckets. Laney was at the main desk when he came in and she gave him a smile he didn't return.

"Any change?"

She shook his head, killing what he kept thinking was the last bit of hope he had.

There was never any change.

Except for the rhythmic beeping, Noah's room was quiet when he came in.

He hated that he'd gotten used to this.

"Hey," he whispered, voice scratchy as he sat in the chair beside Noah's bed. "It snowed last night. They cancelled school." He smiled sadly, smoothing out a wrinkle in the blanket. "Do you remember the last snow day we had? We'd been lying in bed and you sat up. I swear, I thought you were going to break up with me or something, but then...then you told me you loved me. We never left my room that day."

Nothing. Not even a twitch.

"We're getting ready for Sectionals. We're dedicating the group number to you. You'd approve. It was sung by a Jew..."

He kept talking, acting as if he didn't know the chances of Noah actually hearing him were slim to none. He didn't think about the fact that he'd been doing this for a month now. He flat out refused to think that he'd never get a response ever again.

_"The fumes did do brain damage..."_

He talked until Laney had to silently urge him out when visiting hours ended. They didn't let him slip past the rules anymore.

He kissed Noah's forehead, saying he'd be back tomorrow. "I love you."

Noah didn't say anything back.

He waited until he was alone in his car before the tears began to fall again.

The End

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